Excedrin for Humpback Whales

Ok, imagine you are outside walking around minding your own business. Out from the clouds a loud, booming voice is broadcast frantically, saying, "Aieeeeee! Shut up! You are giving me a friggin headache, you jerk! Why won't you stop? I'm in so much pain right now!" This would be pretty perplexing, no?

Still with me here? Good.

I was thinking about whale researchers who blast back whale songs in order to illicit a response back from the whales or the mighty sea unicorn, if you believe in such things (I do). Well, I found out recently that submarines and other sea going vessels give whales headaches. So, I did a little hypothetical thinking. I usually don't try to do too much of that sort of thing on an empty stomach, but what the hell. Here's what I hypothesized: Some of the whale songs recorded are actually whales complaining from massive headaches caused by the vessels recording them. Not having to adhere to any scientific standard kind of helps in this case.

Further, I thought that the rebroadcast of the "I've got a headache this big" whale songs back to the whales, or better yet, to new and unsuspecting whales would really mess with them. I mean, that has got to be a trip to be bombarded with screams coming outta nowhere.

Just for fun I came up with a whale headache haiku:
Throbbing veins in head.
Where is that sound coming from?
Please kill me, Bubba.

I end all my haiku with "Bubba". It's my signature. Plus, Bubba is totally a whale name and you know it.

Peace out.